I don’t know about you, but I have always been quite amazed with people who deliberately don’t want to know the gender of their baby before it’s born. Having a little creature growing in your tummy is weird enough and quite spooky if you have watched too many sci-fi movies. I mean, there might as well be a rabbit or gremlin kicking your insides constantly! Anyway, knowing that you’re going to have a little girl or boy makes everything a bit more tangible and helps in the bonding process, I’d say!

We Dutch are well-known for our outspokeness and bluntness, but in other areas we can be quite reserved. It is quite normal for a couple to already know the sexe and name of their baby, but decide on not telling anybody else. To keep the surprise, or people like me in a constant state of high curiosity. Well, how totally different in The Dominican Republic! There everybody will ask straight away whether you will have a boy or a girl, what the name is going to be, who is your gyneacologist and whether you will be ‘preparaste’, a nice term for tying your tubes, after the c-section, that is planned about 2 months ahead. Because sure enough, no natural births for the Dominican chicas.

I wasn’t quite ready for all of this when I entered my gyneacologist’s office for the first time in September 2002. She has her practice in a nice private clinic, where most of the expat women and rich Dominicans go for their check-ups and of course, to have their babies. The waiting room was wonderfully decorated, with jars of candy and chocolats, embroidered table cloths, flowers, glossy magazines and a perfectly manicured assistant. I sat down and looked around. 4 out of 5 women were cross stitching! One woman looked at my belly and asked: ‘Are you having a boy or a girl?’ A bit taken aback by the directness, I told her it was a boy on which she immediately replied: ‘So have you finished all your blankets yet?’

And then I knew why everybody needed to know everything as soon as possible. You have to embroider your baby’s name on every single bib, blanket and towel possible and that takes a hell of a time! So did I crosstitch? Yes, I actually did. I had already started something when I was pregnant with Aaron and would have a friend finish it after Eva and Michelle were born. I adapted fine with the culture on the crafty side. With giving birth it was quite a different cup of tea.

I’ll spare you all the gross details, but after seeing my doctora for a few weeks and giving birth to super baby Julian, I could tell you all about the birth pains, baths, epidurals, heamarroids, stitches, even vaginas of every pregnant expat woman in the DR. And I am sure that I got quite famous as well with my pain killer refusal – Gerco and Aaron and sister in the room – something went wrong with the local anasteasia while doing the stitches – natural birth. I wasn’t too happy about my instant fame and went to an other gyneacologist when I found out that I was pregnant again. This guy had his peculiarities as well, but at least kept his mouth shut. And again in the waiting room, all the women were cross stitching…

I bumped into this website: www.purlbee.com and was immediately touched by it. Let’s get a few things clear: I don’t cross stitch anymore and am certainly not planning on having any more babies. But this website reminded me of the enthousiasm that the Dominican women had for making everything pretty for their little ones. The hours and concentration that I put in my little piece of art as well. And all the birthing, baby and gyneacologists’ stories that came along with it!